


Hope, Rage, and Doom

by Hell0AndG00dbye



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Past Abuse, Past Drug Addiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hell0AndG00dbye/pseuds/Hell0AndG00dbye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're a regular girl living your regular life. You're single, you live in your apartment with your two friends living just a few rooms away from you. You get by as a nurse at the hospital in the city. Working there is a lot easier now since you work side by side with another one of your good friends. Suddenly, you start to feel that you don't live enough, and you go out to have a good time and make new friends. It seems, after that one night, your life has escalated from something plain and subtle, to something else more happy and exciting and full of.. guys. And it seems over the course of your newly discovered, fun-filled life, you have to make a decision no one wants to make: Deciding who you truly love.</p><p>This story ends how you choose, you are given three alternative endings on who you choose to be with (or which character you think deserves to be chosen). Each ending is different, and can lead to different outcomes. On the last chapter of this story, in the end notes, will be the three titles of the three alternative story endings. Find them and enjoy~</p><p>(I hope the instructions were clear enough :\ )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Glossy Lips and Glossy Pages

"Are you sure this doesn't look too slutty?"

I stand in front of the body mirror, turning myself this way and that to get the partial three-sixty glance I'm trying to achieve. The dress I wore was a blood red,spaghetti straps and an open stringed corset design on my back. It tightened around my waist and stretched the already thin fabric of the dress snuggly, making my waist pucker and my hips more prominent. 

A tall, slender, dark skinned and dark haired woman in the back sitting in my desk chair, wearing a long red and black two piece dress chimed in, inspecting her nails casually while taking a glance at me with green eyes.

"Not at all darling. In fact it is quite flattering."

I sigh and keep turning and touching my body. The dress gave me a slight well needed push up of my breasts, showing some slight cleavage that wasn't much, but would make people look twice. I turn to the side again in worry and run a hand over the side of my thigh to my rear with a sigh, 

"Seriously, Kanaya, I think this makes my back side look big."

A witchy cackle sounded from the girl on my bed, who was stretched out in her skinny jeans and Spider-Man sweater, shoeless and sock-less feet waving in the air as she flipped through a magazine. Her jet black hair was wild and all over the place, and barely hiding her blue eyes that were looking up over the rims of her circled glasses at me.

"Oh please. You're going to a club. With music, alcohol, drugs, hot guys, and other delicious sins. Slutty is the first thing on your list. And besides. Your ass looks fine. Like to beach balls being squeezed together with duct tape."

I roll my eyes at her through the mirror,

"Gee Vriska, thanks for the help."

"I'm here all day." 

She smirked and feathered through a few more glossy pages. Kanaya piped up with her proper, velvet laced voice,

"You look beautiful, now, come here so I can get your makeup on you."

With a solemn nod I pad over quietly to the fashionista at my desk chair, and sit on my bed across from her. Kanaya pulls out her makeup bag and unzips it, laying out various arrays of eye shadows, liners, blushes, glitters, and a few facial decals like rhinestones and sequins. As she laid out a few brushes, wiping off some of them, she glanced up at me,

"So, what are we doing with your makeup tonight?"

I shrug, slouching my back and crossing my arms in my lap, receiving a rather judgmental 'tsk' from my proper friend.

"I don't know. Something that doesn't scream, 'I'm easy'."

The green eyed lady chuckled, flashing a dark lipped smile as she spoke,

"Let us go with something daring tonight, shall we?"

I nod and smile shyly in return as Kanaya started to place tiny brushes in different colors of shadow. I close my eyes once her hand raised with a brush placed delicately in her fingers. I mutter softly to myself as I felt the small application brush press to my eye and sweep out, occasionally feeling a finger smudge the color on my skin,

"I hope I don't look too over dressed.."

Vriska let out an exaggerated sigh and threw a magazine aside, grabbing for another one.

"You're going dancing at a private club. The keyword private meaning that being over dressed is practically impossible."

I sigh,

"No, I mean I hope I'm not too over dressed for Aradia."

Kanaya piped up softly, placing her fingers on my jaw to guide my head,

"Tilt, please.."

Vriska snorted,

"So? Who cares if you upstage her?"

"I do. Because she's my friend. She invited me to this club with her and I don't want to make her look bad. I don't want her to think that I'm trying to look better than her."

"Oh please, everyone can look better than her."

"That is not nice, Vriska. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Turn this way darling, thank you.."

Kanaya turned my head again, and I could feel her gliding eyeliner along my eyes and swooping it out to the side, then feeling little beaded spots of pressure at the corner of my eyes, making my brows furrow in confusion. I sigh,

"Well whatever. I just plan on walking in, chatting, and waking out."

"Booooooooring."

Vriska rolls on her back with a sigh, tossing a magazine in the air. I open my mouth to say something, but a finger stops me.

"Do not speak, please. You need lipstick now."

I shut my lips and let the small damp brush smudge lipstick on my mouth, and another putting a greasy gloss over it. After a bit she pulled away with a quiet hum of approval, and my eyes flutter open. 

"You look absolutely gorgeous."

I smile and rise, stepping over to the mirror and get a look. My blue eyes were lined with a dark glitter liner that went out into a winged detail. Kanaya made me look dramatic with a black to white smokey eye look and dark red lipstick. I could barely make out the simple tiny red rhinestones placed at the edges of my winged liner, making my look even more glittery. I smile and run a hand through my silvery white disheveled hair, teasing it and giving it more of a dramatic wind blown look. Most people usually think weirdly of my choice in dyed hair color, but bleach with a white and silver toner is so much cheaper and easier to use. Plus, I want to be different. Not plain.  
There was a quiet knock at the door and I pipe up,

"Come in."

The door opens slowly, and a short curvy woman steps in, wearing a strapless black tube dress, black pumps and dark makeup. Her chocolate brown hair was put up into a messy up-do, with bangs and strands falling around her face. She looked me over and have me a charming ruby lipped smile.

"Hello there."

I smirk and wink teasingly at her,

"Hey Aradia. Just give me a second to get my shoes and my purse and we can leave."

Aradia chuckles and shows her palms in a calming gesture,

"No, no. Take your time. I'm in no hurry."

I nod and move to dig around my closet for a decent pair of shoes. My fingers snake around the heels of a pair of nude colored stilettos I bought but never wore. With a shrug I grab them and sit on the bed to slip them on. Vriska lets out a shrill whistle and spins her finger in the air at Aradia, who started to turn in response to show her dress. Vriska laughed,

"Damn girl. You getting some hot action tonight?"

With a small laugh, Aradia crossed her arms over her chest and blushed lightly.

"Maybe."

"Ooooooooh? Who with?"

"N-Nobody of your concern."

"I am quite intrigued. Do tell, Aradia."

Kanaya smirked and crossed her legs, resting her arms on them as she leaned forward. I cocked a brow at her and muttered,

"Do we know who he is?"

She smiles down at the floor and nods,

"Yes."

"Well come on bitch! Spill!"

Vriska was practically jumping off the bed with impatience.

Aradia sighs and places her hands on her hips.

"You know the guy that works at the hospital with me? He makes the prosthetics and such for amputees, and works in the physical therapy wing."

Vriska cringes her nose.

"Ew, you mean that tall, sweaty guy with the shades?"

With a shy nod, Aradia smiles and speaks softly,

"He's so sweet and charming.. And he invited me to go to this hot VIP club tonight with him."

"VIP? I'm sorry, but nothing about that sweaty brute emits VIP quality."

Vriska sighed and inspected ends of her hair.

"You just have to know people to get in, Vriska."

"Oh? And who does he know?"

Aradia smirked and shifted on her feet, "The owner of the club."

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline, my lips parting with a confused question,

"And.. How does he know the owner?"

Aradia's eyes flicked to mine gently, and she raised her chin proudly,

"He made a prosthetic arm for her a few days ago. Apparently she was so pleased she offered him a part time job at her club as a bouncer. The Magic Eight Ball."

Kanaya gasped, bringing a hand to her chest,

"The Magic Eight Ball? Only the richest of the rich get in there, the celebrities and millionaires. Oh how I would give anything to go!"

Vriska pointed to a page of an open magazine, her blue nail pointing to the headline of an article. In bold letters it shouted, 'Owner of The Magic Eight Ball Brings A Surprising Guest Friday Night!' She tapped it and spoke huskily with a smirk,

"Not only is this article coincidental. Read what it says."

"What ever does it say?"

Kanaya leaned over a bit, Vriska read out loud,

"The thriving club owner Marquise Spinneret now recovering from physical therapy has reopened her ever popular dance club The Magic Eight Ball. On her therapeutic cruise, she met a new colleague who is now rumored to be her new lover. The so said 'lover' is none only than the owner and founder of the High Tide Cruise and Yacht Business, and well famous for his most popular adult only cruise ship The Orphaner; Sir Seamus Ampora. According to our reporters, he and his son will be visiting Spinneret at the Eight Ball, and celebrities across the states are reserving lounges to meet this knighted millionaire."

Kanaya laughs in surprise and looks to both me and Aradia,

"You two might even get a chance to meet him! Or his son!"

I shrugged and grabbed my black purse, snapping it closed and holding it closely,

"It's just a rich knighted guy with a spoiled kid."

Vriska's eyes widen,

"You don't realize who his kid is, do you?"

I shrug again, and she huffs at me surprisingly,

"Doesn't the name Ampora ring a bell?? His son is Cronus Ampora! The lead singer and guitar player of the band Hate Date! Isn't that your favorite band?"

My eyes widen and I immediately turn to Aradia,

"Okay can we leave now, please? Like. Now. Right now."

She laughs and takes my hand, leading me to the door,

"Yes, yes. The cab is waiting outside. Bye girls." 

Aradia and I flutter soft waves to Kanaya and Vriska as we head out my apartment. I climbed into the backseat of the cab with a nervous and excited knot in my stomach. I could barely keep my hands still in my lap as the cab shifted into drive and pulled out.


	2. The Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do a little dance.. Make a little love... Get down tonight. Literally.

By the time the cab pulled up next to The Magic Eight Ball, the sun had disappeared under the horizon, making everything cool outside. I popped the door open and slid out of the backseat after splitting the cab total with Aradia. Our heels clicked on the rough sidewalk as we approached the mass crowd that was the unorganized line to get into the club. The structure was two levels tall and nearly two buildings wide, I could feel the pulse of the beat and energy radiating from the inside. I can only imagine what the inside looked like. Aradia took my hand as she lead me through the line, receiving stares and complains from people behind us. Once we made it to the front of the line, a dark skinned, bald and broad shouldered bouncer stood in our way. He crossed his arms over his wide chest, with a clip board in one hand and a pen in the other. His Bluetooth was flashing as he grumbled at us,

"Get in the back you two. If you're not on the list or a celebrity you can't get in."

Aradia looked up at the man sternly and spoke out, "I'm the lounge bouncers girlfriend. He invited us here. We should have a reserved VIP lounge with Marquise."

His jaw clicked as he chewed on his gum, blank eyes watching us. After a bit of silence he looked at his clip board on the reserved names. His pen stopped on the page and he looked up.

"Aradia Megido, correct?"

"Yes."

The bouncer reached down and unclipped the velvet rope, and stepped aside to let us pass.

"Go on in. You two enjoy yourselves."

We walk past him and push the heavy metal door open. Immediately I was hit with a wave of heat, and the smell of sweat and alcohol. The bar was in the back to the far left, with men and women alike drinking it's contents. The dance floor in the center of the room was laid out before the DJ's balcony, where some blonde guy with shades stood and rocked his head to the beats. The whole place felt like it was under pressure like a steam cooker, packed with heat and bodies rising against each other. The bass of the music could be felt in the air, through the floor, and in my chest, like the music was smothered in water. We walk out through the dance floor, pushing past masses of groups chatting, dancing, and drinking until we reached the back. In the back was a hall, with restrooms, an emergency exit, and a stairwell. Aradia and I navigated past couples and possible strangers making out in the back, and went up the stairs. 

Once we reached up stairs, the heat subsided a bit, but was still muggy and humid. The music could be heard through the floor under our feet, as well as felt on the walls and everywhere else. People lined the halls, talking, laughing, smoking, and making out. Aradia made way down the hall in determination to find someone. We rounded a corner and an immediate smile broke her face. At the end of the short hall was an open door with red and purple lights shining in the room, illuminating the smoke and fumes in the air behind the bouncer in the doorway. The guy was tall, well built, and handsome. His glasses shined with sweat from dim lights, and his crooked smile spread as Aradia walked up to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a polite kiss.

"Hey Equius."

"Good evening, Aradia. Oh, and hello to you too."

I smile slightly and take Equius hand for a brief shake. He smiles and speaks politely, "You work at the hospital with Aradia don't you? That's where I've seen you.."

I nod and smile more. He smiles in return and looks to the both of us, stepping aside and presenting the open doorway to us with an open arm.

"Welcome. Come inside and meet all the rich and populars."

We tried as casually as we could to walk in, without making ourselves seem eager. Everywhere I dared glance at there was a celebrity, or a just as gorgeous man or woman. Every person in this room made me feel plain and underdressed. Woman wearing things that you would find only on runways. Men looking like they should be on the covers of Vogue, or even in someone's guilty dream. Equius lead us to the back of the room, weaving in and out between rich snobs having a classy drink, or celebrities snorting another pill and smoking another cigarette. We stopped at the bar, where Equius ordered us drinks. Aradia got herself a martini, I just got a simple glass of red wine. A soft yet sharp voice called out to Equius, making him turn and smile slightly.

"Zahhak. Do come and join us, and bring your little friends with you."

A woman sat on the rounded sectional couch in the back corner with a beer in one hand and an E-cig in her other seemingly robotic one. Her hair was long, wavy and dyed an intense blue with the occasional black strip. Her black dress flowed off her legs, which were crossed over the long leg of a man lounging next to her. Equius nodded and lead us over, sitting down on the end of the couch with Aradia sitting close next to him, which left me alone. With a sigh I sat on the other side of the couch, receiving a glance from the strange man.

"Marquise, this is Aradia and her friend," Equius gestured to Aradia then me, "They work at the same hospital as I do."

Marquise smiles and nodded to me, placing the E-cig up to her lips and taking a long drag. She sighs out blueish smoke and offers the cigarette to the man she was lounging her legs on. He graciously takes it and places it up to his lips. He looked so vaguely familiar, and terrifying. He wore a plain white button up, with the last few buttons undone, and black jeans with leather boots. He had a stern, fierce face, a strong jaw speckled with dark stubble that lined up with his side burns. His hair was a dark black, and pushed back out of his eyes with the slightest grey streak brushed in with his bangs. I glanced at his eyes, which were weird. One was just a normal brown, so brown it seemed black, and the other seemed to be clouded over. I noticed he had a small scar over his clouded eye, probably an injury. I couldn't help but examine the weird eye, then I realized it was looking right back at me. I jumped in realization and leaned back in my seat a bit. Marquise laughed softly at me, which made my cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"You lose somethin' ovver here, Darlin'?"

The weird mispronounce took me off guard, so I couldn't help but stutter and shake my head.

"N-No, sir."

Marquise chuckled and nudged the blind eyed man in the chest gently with a bare foot, "Don't tease the poor thing, Seamus. She's terrified."

Then it hit me. That was Sir Seamus Ampora. God how could I be so stupid. He chuckled smoke and handed Marquise back her cigarette.

"Of course she'd be terrified, this is her first night at a club is it not?"

"H-How do you know that...?"

He smirked, "I didn't. I just kneww ya'd spill the answwer yourself if I'd say somethin' about it."

Damn. Clever fuck.

"But no wworries. I'm sure ya'vve got the company to keep ya safe and entertained, don't ya?"

"O-oh.. Uh.." 

I shrug and nod over to Aradia, who hadn't even been listen. She was too busy off in her own little world with Equius, holding hands and muttering soft words that only they were able to hear. Seamus followed my eyes and nodded slowly.

"Oh.. I see. Wwell," He huffed and reached forward for the beer sitting on the table in front of him. He smirked around the lip of the bottle as he brought it up to his mouth, "Looks like ya should be makin' neww friends. Shouldn't be too hard in a place like this."

I nod and look down to my wine, which I've barely even taken a sip of. I stared down to the dark face reflected back at me. The glass tilted in my hand, swirling the red liquid slowly in the crystal. Boots clunked on the floor and stopped on the other side of the table.

"Ey, pops, havwe you seen Shark Bait? I asked him to get me a beer and it's been like, half an hour."

"No. I havven't. And ya wwalk all the wway ovver here after all this time to tell me that instead of just not wworryin' about it and gettin' yer owwn?"

I look up to yet another weird accent, and I freeze. Holy shit. A fucking celebrity, one that me and my friends are madly insane about, is standing within arms length away from me.

Cronus Ampora.

His attire was the usual greaser look with a white tank, leather jacket, plain jeans, and biker boots. Even his hair was slicked back. I could feel myself practically squirming off the couch to run over there and kneel to the ground and show him my unworthiness. He showed his palms with a grunt.

"Alright, alright, chief. Don't bite my fuckin' head off. Say, you got a cigarette? And not one of those pansy ass electric ones." 

Seamus shook his head as faux smoke blew out his nostrils.

"No. I'm not smokin' the tar laced death sticks you lovve so much."

Cronus rolled his eyes.

"Wvhatevwer."

Suddenly those eyes met mine, and I tensed. His brow raised slightly, along with the corner of his mouth, "Wvho's this?"

His father shrugged and gestured to Aradia, who was still oblivious to the world around her.

"Friend a hers. And she's the bouncers gal."

Cronus looked at the two on the end of couch, then back to me with a 'tsk tsk' and a shake of his head.

"Third wvheelin' it tonight, huh kitten?"

I shrug as casually as I can, which felt pretty stiff and honestly I probably looked like a old rusty robot with movements like that. My voice shook a bit and I smiled shyly at my wine, "I-I guess so.."

Just to pass more time, I brought my glass up to my lips and took a long drink, humming at the warmth of the alcohol flowing in my chest. Cronus smirked and stepped over to sit beside me. My stomach ached with excitement and nervousness. He reeked of beer and cigarette smoke, but I didn't care. It was a fucking celebrity. They're gonna smell like that anyway. He chuckled, "Wvell, I'd hate to leavwe a pretty little thing like you all alone. Wvhat's your name, babe?"

I look down at my wine and stutter out my name softly before bringing the glass back up to my lips for another sip. He smiles, "Beautiful name for a lovwely girl."

My cheeks felt red hot, thank god this room was dimly lit with absurd colors.

"Wvell, I'm Cronus. Cronus Ampora.."

He took my hand with a soft shake. I couldn't help but smile and stutter out, "Y-yeah. I know who you are."

His brow raised and his smile grew wider.

"Oh? Another fan I see? Wvell, nowv you havwe somethin' to brag about to all your other girlfriends. Might evwen mention that this kindly young gentleman bought you a drink."

He grinned and stood, holding out a hand to me. I just blinked at him in awe.

"Come on. Let me buy you a drink, kitten."

I shake my head, "O-oh, no, no. I.. Can't accept that..."

"And wvhy not?"

"B-because.. I'd hate for you to go out of your way to buy a drink for a complete stranger like me.."

He laughed and took my hand anyway, pulling me up off the couch and against his side. Damn he was tall.

"Man. You must be really newv to clubs like this aren't ya?"

I nod nervously.

"Don't wvorry, kitten. It's normal to havwe a stranger buy you a drink. But hey, I'm sure wve can fix the stranger part wvith a little conversation. Right?"

"U-uh. Right.."

He smiles and we both go to the bar for a drink. I finished my wine and got a simple martini, Cronus however buying two beers and bumming a cigarette off the bartender. He lit it and took a long, well needed drag, then washed it down with a drink of his beer. I could feel his eyes scan me curiously as I watched my martini. He sighed out smoke and leaned over closer to me, "So, kitten, wvhat do you do for a livwin'?"

I look up to find his face a bit close. Close enough I could feel the heat from the club's vibe radiate off him.

"Oh. I.. Work at the hospital here as a nurse.. Not very exciting as your job, I know.."

He chuckled and took another puff of his cigarette, his dark eyes looking into mine, "No, no. That's vwery exciting. A lot more interesting than mine, babe."

"H-how? You're a celebrity. I'm just a nurse."

"Just a nurse? You savwe livwes and heal the sick, kitten. All I do is sing, play, and sign pictures."

I smile shyly and take a drink of my martini. He continued on softly.

".. You don't talk much, do ya? Wvhat, are you shy?"

He mumbled and leaned a bit closer. My body tensed once he was close enough that our hips touched. I try and do my best to nod, but it came out weak and short. He chuckled, pushing some of my hair back away from my face and behind my ear.

"You don't need to be shy wvith me, kitten. Don't wvorry, I don't bite.. Sometimes."

My lungs huffed out a small nervous laugh, the laugh turning into a sharp gasp once I felt a pressure against my earlobe.

Cronus chuckled and nibbled at my ear, suckling on it a bit before pulling away slightly enough to talk lowly.

"So, wvhat do you say kitten? Lets havwe some fun.. Givwe you somethin' more to brag about to your friends.."

Oh hell no.

I pull away from him, my whole face flushed and my heart beating out of my chest. I shake my head and hold up a hand,

"N-No.. I'm fine, thank you.."

Cronus smiled casually and stood, putting his cigarette butt in someone else's beer.

"I just meant a little dance, kitten.."

I fluttered a hand to my ear,

"Then what was, that, all about??"

He smirked and chuckled, shrugging and taking my hand, "You wvere tense, I wvas just tryin' to help you out a bit, babe. Plus, howv else wvas I supposed to get your attention wvith you starin' dowvn you're martini and all."

He didn't give me a chance to answer. He lead me out of the lounge where we fought to break past VIP cliques standing in the way in the halls. We made it to the stairwell and stepped back down to the first level, where the heat and vibe of the night came back in my chest. Cronus turns and places a hand on my waist as we walked, he leaned down to speak in my ear and over the sound of the music, "Come on, just one little dance, kitten. I'll make it up to you."

He smiled at me and pulled me out on the dance floor, and I felt a smile break out on my face. The floor was packed with groups and bodies of people rising and falling against each other with the beat and pulse of the music. I had never danced before in my life, and it was noticeable to my dance partner.

"Relax, just do wvhat seems natural, babe."

His arms wrapped around my waist, and my arms shyly went up around his neck. I grumbled and looked around at all the others dancing while we were standing still, "Nothing seems natural here anyway."

"Exactly."

He snickers with a roll of my eyes. After a bit of contemplating and watching of others dancing, I got the hang of it. My hips started swaying to the beat, as well as my partners. The heat and excitement of physical contact in such a way only drew bodies closer to each other with their dance partners, even my own. My hips drew closer to his, my chest, my whole body. His arms tighten around my waist, pulling me right up against him as our hips rocked against each other in unison with the beat. Body heat increased, breath quickened, and sweat started to drip as our bodies continued to press against each other with the pulse of music and lust in the air. A crooked smile split Cronus's face when he leaned down to rest his forehead to mine, making me smile and blush insanely in return. Suddenly, soft lips were against mine that I never thought would feel this way. 

My eyes widened in surprise, then fluttered close with an eagerness that needed to be satisfied. The kiss was soft, then rough, then fast, then slow, with our mouths seeming to open and close in time with the change of the music. My hands curled in his hair and pulled him down closer, a whimper forming in my throat in excitement. His mouth on mine, our tongues colliding together, seemed to last for hours, but sadly was only within a few minutes. He pulled away for air, but still kept his lips touching mine. I closed my eyes, feeling his heat against my body, his hot breath on my lips, my jaw, then my neck where it stayed. Teeth nibbled at my neck in a teasing gesture and I giggled, angling my head over more as he sucked at my skin. I knew this wasn't a very decent way to act with a famous guy you just met, but hell, our minds were foggy with alcohol and I didn't give a fuck because it felt so damn good.

The high upbeat and pulsating song died down, along with the movement and vibe of the crowd. Once the music faded away, the people on the floor turned to the DJ, giving him a well needed applaud and cheering. With a wave, he put on another song, something more of a slower taste, but still electric with the vibrations of bass. Cronus stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist like he did before, and muttered against my ear as we swayed again, slowly this time.

"You dance wvell for your first time at a club, kitten."

I shrug and lean back into him, smiling softly and shivering at his breath in my ear. He chuckles and bends down to kiss at my neck gently, a hum of pleasure sounding in my throat. My eyes scan the dance floor, watching all the couples move slowly and closely with each other, some with their fingers tangled in each others hair, and others with their tongues tangled in each others mouths. I kept my focus on the sensation at my neck, with a small grin spreading on my lips at the thought of who was doing this. Damn. I am so bragging about this to Vriska. I reached up behind me with a hand, and hooked it around his neck, nestling my fingers in his hair. While my other hand rested on his, which were placed on my stomach. I looked around the room with half lidded eyes, searching for any familiar celebrities lurking about in the far corners and dark shadows of the bar in the back. The corners seemed to have no one special, the bar though, had every drug ridden and alcohol infused celeb there. I scanned the bar, watching famous people mingle, then suddenly, a pair of eyes behind black framed glasses met mine. 

They were bright, yet dark; deep and scary, yet gentle and soft with curiosity and slight pity. His face, which seemed to be in a small frown, resembled a striking familiarity, and was framed with dark hair falling on the sides of his face, and a different shaded streak in his bangs. He seemed youngish, about as old as me. I couldn't quite make the rest of him out, he was sitting down and too far away in the dark to make out. My brows furrow at this stranger, who still had his eyes on me. I turn my head back slightly and mumble to Cronus,

"Who's that?"

"Mm? Wvho's wvho?"

"That guy in the back, with the glasses. The one that's.. Watching us."

I felt Cronus turn his head up and rest his chin on my shoulder. He chuckled, "Oh. Him? That's just Eribaby. No wvorries. He mostly just stares and doesn't talk."

I frown, "Who?"

"Eridan. He's... My little brother. Sadly."

"You have a brother?"

"Nyeeaah... No one really knowvs of him though. He's not knowvn for anythin'. He's just a little shit that wvhines about evwerythin' that comes to mind."

"O-oh.. I see... Well, why is he staring?"

Cronus goes back to biting at my neck, making me gasp.

"Jealous probably."

"Hm.."

I shrug and go back to focusing on moving my hips to the slow music, which had started to speed up. The song started slow and soft then faded into something upbeat and quick. Everyone's bodies started moving faster with the beat. My hips swaying faster in time with my partners. He grinned against my ear and pulled me closer back against him, pressing his hips into me with a sway to the music. I gasp and smile a bit in return, moving back and grinding gently against him. Cronus chuckles lowly and takes that as an invitation to grind back just as hard, making my cheeks flush heavily and my movements more sketchy.

The hunger for everyone's bodies grinding against each other was a thick, sweaty, and over whelming pheromone in the atmosphere, that even I fell under the spell of. I rolled back against him with a small groan, smiling and shuddering when his hands traced down my stomach and over my thighs. It took a long while for my lust and alcohol clouded mind to register that his fingers hooked up under the bottom of my dress and started lifting it up. Once his fingers reached up far enough to trace between my thighs, I snapped back into reality and pushed off of him, swatting his hands away.

"Wvhats the matter, kitten? You still shy?"

He chuckled and pulled my chest against his. I struggled and squirmed, "N-no, I-I just, didn't want that!"

He grins and nips at my lower lip, his hands sliding down to grab my ass.

"C'mon babe.. You knowv you wvanna rock these wvavwes..."

I grunt and push off of him with my hands planted on his chest.

"N-no! I'm not that kind of girl..!"

He growled and grabbed my wrists rather roughly, leaning forward to force a kiss to my mouth. Damn, I didn't realize it but this guy tasted like he drank a distillery.

"Wvhat the hell kinda girl are you then? Dressin' like a call girl and not gettin' a man laid. Huh? Skank?"

I broke free from his grasp and lashed out at him, striking him across the face. Cronus grunted and hobbled in return, before swearing out at me and grabbing me by the hair. He smacked me across the face in return, enough to knock the wind out of me and bring me to me knees once he let me go. People in the crowd gasped and hollered for help and security. Bouncers came and dragged the drunk rockstar up the lounge stairs to his father, and I watched with a throbbing face. Everyone looked at me, no one helped. They just stared, mumbled, and went back to dancing. Hot tears welled in my eyes, and I forced myself to not let them leak and ruin my makeup which was probably already screwed up. I sniffed and wiped my nose, leaning over and grabbing the strap of my small black purse. In a daze of pain and alcohol, I tried to stand, only falling back to my knees with a wince. Suddenly, gentle hands wrapped around my arms comfortingly..


	3. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To quote a Star Wars title A new hope is found.

A hushed voice muttered in my ear.

"Come along. I'vve got you."

There's that mispronounce again. My eyebrows furrow in confusion, and I grunt as the gentle hands support me up to my feet. I didn't get a good look of his face, it was too blurry and if I looked up too high I would get dizzy. I kept my eyes to the floor as the hands lead me to a booth in the back.

"S-Seamus?"

The man laughed and sat me down gently before sitting across from me. I looked up into those deep and gentle eyes and my question was answered.

"No, I am not my father, thank cod. I'm–"

"Eridan, yeah, I know..."

I watched him with awe and spoke softly, with a small smile on my face. Now that I was closer, I could get a really close look at this mystery brother. He had a striking resemblance of his father, just not as fierce and stern, but more of a gentle and caring way; probably because he was worried about me. His hair was a deep ebony black, swept back loosely with strands falling over his eyes and against his cheekbones. My eyes also caught the deep purple streak in his hair, which stuck out against the black lights around the bar. He wore a simple black long sleeve shirt, and plain black jeans over his lean frame. I remember from when I was looking down at the ground, I saw he was wearing purple converse, which made me smile at the thought. But the one thing I couldn't get over was his eyes. They weren't like his fathers or his brothers, brown enough to be black, no. His were a deep blue, and nearly shined a bright purple, like Amethyst or Byzantium. Shit fuck. This guy was gorgeous. 

"Uh.. You alright?"

His eyes watched me curiously as I continued to stare at him. I blinked and looked away, my already heated and stinging face getting even hotter with blush.

"Y-Yeah. I'm fine.."

"Howw about I go get you some ice? He.. Got you pretty good.."

I nod slowly and smile shyly, "That'd be great.. Thanks.."

Without a word he rose and made his way over to the bar, leaning over and talking to the bartender. A shaky sigh slid between my lips that seemed to be stuck in my chest forever. Some night this was. I touch my cheek tenderly, feeling the hot swollen skin with a wince.

"Hey, don't mess wwith it or you'll only irritate it more.."

I jump and look up, Eridan is standing next to me with a towel in his hand, holding it like a bag. He handed it to me before taking his seat across from me. The cloth was cold with the ice balled up in it, and made my fingers ache with numbness. I press the cloth to my face, hissing and flinching immediately at the pain and pulling the ice away with a sigh. I look up to Eridan, who was watching off to the side. My eyes scan his face curiously before I speak up softly,

"So.. How come I've never heard of you?"

He shrugs, still not meeting my eyes, and leans back in the booth with his arms crossed over his chest, "Probably because I'm not the favvorite. I didn't have a 'unique' talent, or the best looks, or... Anythin' really. Anythin' that dad approvved of."

"So your saying he approves of that smoke filled alcoholic bastard with nothing else on his mind but sex?"

"Basically evverythin' that he is, yes."

I had no words to respond to that, and left an awkward silence between the two of us, until he piped up rather curiously, "So, wwhat's your name?"

I fumble the ice rag in my hands as I speak out my name softly. I couldn't look at this guy in fear of getting overly giddy and blushing like a maniac.

"Are you sure you're okay? I mean, if there's anythin' I can do for you, tell me."

I shake my head and press the ice back to my cheek, which sends a sharp strike of pain through my face. I immediately pull the ice away and set it down with a swear. Eridan leans over and grabs the cloth before getting up an sitting next to me.

"You're not doin' it right. You're being too forceful, jesus."

The cloth was emptied of its ice and placed on the table. Then delicate fingers pressed the cold, wet cloth to my cheek with not as much pain as before. I sigh with relief with a heavy blush, hearing him chuckle.

"Better?"

"Yeah, a lot, thank you.."

"My pleasure."

He pulls away and sits back in the booth again, letting me take over the cloth. 

I look over at him and speak softly, "So, tell me a little about yourself. I'd like to get to know the person that helped me."

He meets my eyes slowly and leans forward on to the table top, "Wwhat wwould you like to knoww?"

I shrug, "Well, just, anything really. Your hobbies, talents, career, anything."

He snorts in derision, "Talents? Please."

"Everyone has a talent at something. Or, you don't even have to tell me about your talents. Tell me something else."

He sighs and looks down to the table, tapping his fingers on it, "Wwell.. I livve alone so, that's pretty fantastic. I get by wwith wworking at the Starbucks dowwn on Eighth Street."

"Right next to the hospital? Wow."

"Yeah, wwhy?"

"Oh, nothing, just surprised me. I get coffee there on break all the time. I work at the hospital as a nurse. Funny.. I've never seen you there.."

"Oh? Wwell. I only wwork in the mornin' so.."

I nod and pull the rag away, then furrow my brows in confusion and meet those pity filled eyes again, "Why do you work at a Starbucks when your dad and brother are famous?"

He shrugs, "I don't like livving a life of fame like they do, wwith people kissin' their feet evvery goddamn time they set foot on the streets. I just like to livve the normal life, loww profile, quiet, simple life. I told dad I wwanted nothin' to do wwith their fame. So he kicked me out of his house and I got an apartment of my owwn. Noww I wwork mornin' shifts at Starbucks, and a few shifts at the public library for a little extra cash on the side."

A smile crept on my face and he looked at me weirdly.

"Wwhat?"

I shake my head at him and smile more, "Nothing, that's just, great.. People out there have it so rough, while other rich snobs just idly sit by and don't partake in the misery. But you.. You'd rather live in that misery. I find that great."

He smiles shyly, "Yeah, I just don't see howw sittin' buy wwith assloads of money, and doin' barely anythin' important is livvin'."

"Exactly." 

He smiles briefly, before the smile then fades to that natural frown. Eridan watches me curiously for a bit before piping up, "So, a nurse, sounds fascinatin'. Wwhat's it like?"

"It can be fun at times, or stressful, or.. Really, really depressing."

"Tell me about it." He rested his chin on his hand, seemingly interested.

"Well, some days are good and happy. Full of new life and healed bodies. Other times it can be full of sorrow and death, with children that only have so long to live, or a death of a beloved mother or father. Life is a vicious circle, and I became a nurse to help make it easier for others."

My eyes were focused on my hands the whole time, unable to look up for some sort of polite eye contact during social interaction. Eridan hummed in agreement and nodded.

"Healin' the sick and keepin' the dyin' good company. That's howw I see nurses sometimes,: He paused for a second and smile slightly at me, "I like that. It suites you. You seem swweet and carin' enough for the job."

That stupid pink blush tinges my cheeks again and I smile shyly. Gosh this guy was sweet, not to mention adorable.

* * * *

Over the course of the night Eridan and I did nothing but talk and have a few drinks. Turns out we have a lot in common. We both love old poets and writers, mine being Edgar Allan Poe, his being Jules Vern. We both have the same taste in music, but mine being more on the orchestral side and his being a bit more classical. Not only that, but once I made a reference to Harry Potter when explaining the height of a bouncer to Hagrid's height, we learned that we both have a sick love of science fiction and fantasy. This lead to some pretty hilarious and serious arguments about movies like, Harry Potter and Star Wars, and eventually we got on to the topic of Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit series. Lord, was that conversation fun. 

After hours on end of talking about movies and music, I learned that he actually does have at least one talent, which he finds embarrassing. He can play piano, and has played it for years with his mother, without his father knowing. But once his mother had passed, he never played again, because it would only bring back her memory.

At the end of the night, the music of the club died down to a low hum, and couple and groups were seen leaving out both front and back exits. I noticed Aradia and Equius leaving, both looking a bit tipsy, and leaving me.

"Well, there goes my ride.."

Eridan's eyes followed mine and he frowned a bit before looking back to me, "Do you need a ride? Or a place to stay?"

I shake my head, "No, no. I've got a place to stay, and I'm sure I can just hail a cab."

I rise out of the booth, my heels in my hand. Eridan stands with me a places a hand on my shoulder.

"Please, I insist. Let me take you home, so I knoww you're wwith someone safe at least."

I refused, saying I wouldn't want to impose or have someone go out of their way for me. Then with a soft sigh, Eridan stepped up and leaned down to kiss me. He pulled away once I wrenched away from him.

"The hell did you do that for??"

I glare at him in surprise, he just smirked and laughed, "You talk too much. Had to quiet you somehoww."

I feel my face get red, and he offers me his arm., "Come on, I'll take you home."

With a huff of refusal I take his arm and he leads me outside to his car, which was simply a small blue Pontiac. I laugh as we both climb inside.

"Wwhat's so funny?"

"Just seeing you driving a car like this I find funny. It's great."

Eridan smiles as he sticks the key in ignition and brings the car to a hum of life with a turn of his wrist. He pulls the car out onto the road with a sigh, I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. The rumble of the road beneath the car tires, and the hum of the air flowing through the vents made a sudden drowsiness come over me. I felt my head lol to the side, Eridan chuckled,

"Tired?"

"Mhm.." I nod and smile sleepily.

"Wwell howw about this.. You just tell me wwhere you livve and you can take a nap wwhile I drivve you there."

"Hm.. sounds good.." I mumble and rub my eyes, looking up at him. He glances over at me,

"So, wwhere do you livve?"

"Oh, uh.. Spring Park Apartments..."

"Really? Wwoww. You're close."

"How close?"

"Like, three blocks."

He laughed softly, my brows furrow, "Where do you live, Eridan?"

We stop at a red light and he yawns, raking a hand through his hair before taking off his glasses and pinching his nose tiredly, "Angel Bay. That huge ass apartment complex just dowwn the road from yours."

My eyes close and I curl up into the seat, knees pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them, "Hm.. wow.. that is close..."

I hear Eridan chuckle, and feel the car move into motion again, "Just get to sleep, I'll wwake ya wwhen wwe get there."

"Mkay.."

After that there was only the hum of the engine, and the rumble of the road beneath the tires, with the occasional ticking of turn signals. I lay there, picking through thoughts in my brain, trying to rid of them so I can have a clear mind and get to sleep faster. There was one thing I had to do, had to say; and I did, softly.

"Hey Eridan...?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you..."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "You're wwelcome... Noww get to sleep, Princess."

My brows furrow, "Princess...?"

He chuckles, sounding sincere, "Yeah.. Princess.."

I smile softly, and his chuckling words was the last thing I heard after drifting off to sleep finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was sort of bland? I just felt like it needed more detail.


	4. You Got a Friend in Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.

A warm hand touched my shoulder and shook me, making my eyes flutter and bringing me out of my dreams. Immediately I look over and meet the familiar blue eyes of my new friend, who smiled softly and nodded to the apartment building looming in front of us.

"Wwe're here.."

"Oh.." I mutter, and sit up with a yawn as I reached for my purse. I look over at him and crack a weak smile, "I know I already said it before but, thanks.. for all of this."

Eridan chuckles and shakes his head, "Like I said, it wwas my pleasure. Besides, I can't really leavve a girl wwhen she's dowwn after gettin' a bloww to the face by my brother."

A nervous chuckle slips past my lips, the sound shaking in my throat, "Y-Yeah.." I fidget and open the car door, swinging my legs out a planting my feet on the pavement and stand. My body ached, and I swayed with the pain. I heard the sound of the other car door opening and closing, and footsteps coming around to stop next to me.

"Hey, easy.. You're not that drunk are you?"

"N-No, I just hurt all over."

"Let me wwalk you.. I don't wwant you falling dowwn the stairs or somethin'.." He cups my elbow with his right hand, and places his left hand at the small of my back as he started walking with me slowly.

"Yeah.. good idea." I mutter, and start making my way slowly to my apartment door. Once we got there I started fishing around in my small purse for my keys. As I did I look up to Eridan and ask mutually, "Wanna come in? It's the least I can do since you've been such a big help.."

Eridan shakes his head and shows his palms, "No, no, it's fine. I wwouldn't wwant your neighbors or somethin' gettin' the wwrong ide-"

"I insist," I say softly with a smile, and open the door. He follows me in as I step into the living room, I catch his eyes watching me as he tried to seem fairly interested glancing around the room. He wasn't watching me _that_  way, but more of in a nervous ' _holy shit what do I do_ ' way. Kind of got me wondering if he's ever been to a girls place before.

I slip off my heels and shove them aside, making myself even shorter to him as I step over and chuckle, "What's wrong? You're acting like you've never been in a girls home before."

Eridan coughed softly, shoving his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders up, "It might be my first time.. Granted I'vve nevver reely had a solid relationship wwith a gal."

"Hm, that's surprising.." I mutter, stepping over to the kitchen and opening the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"Howw so?" He asked, following behind slowly and leaning against the counter once he got close enough.

Taking a sip, I sigh, letting the cold water sooth the pain in my throat and chest, which it somehow helped the rest of my body's aches. I hop up on the counter next to him, letting, my feet dangle, "Well all in all, you're such a gentleman. I'd think that a guy like you would have had great relationships."

Eridan huffs, inspecting the rings on his fingers, seemingly to be interested, "I wwish, but it seems like no one can put up wwith my shit."

"What shit?" I ask behind the lips of the water bottle.

His eyes met mine sadly at first, then blinked away to stare at the wall, "I can't tell you that."

"Why? I mean, we've shared so much already.."

He sighs and smiles sadly back to me, "If I did then wwe'd be here all night, Princess."

I blink blankly at him, "Seriously. We've been together for most of the night. In fact all of it. It's like five in the fucking morning," I pushed, gesturing to the oven clock.

"Indeed it is, and I should be going," He smiled briefly, pushing off the counter and standing in front of me, "I'll be seein' you again I'm sure. Probably at the coffee shop," he chuckled, and turned for the door.Immediately I jumped off the counter, landing on my feet wrong and sending sharp pains up my legs and to my thighs, but I didn't care, I couldn't just let him leave now.

"Wait, give me your number."

"Hm?" He turns and meets my gaze curiously, "Oh, yeah, of course." He notices my fridge and steps over, taking the privilege to use that small dry erase board I never used and jot his number down in neat handwriting. When he was finished he gives me a small nod and turns for the door again. I shake my head and reach forward to grab his shoulder, stopping him in his place. He huffs and looks at me over his shoulder, "Wwhat is it noww?"

My hand releases his shoulder, and pulls back away gently, "Why can't you tell me now?" I have no idea why I really wanted to know, I just feel like this guy needs a good friend.. needs someone to talk too.

"Wwhy do you wwant to knoww?" He asked bluntly, "Wwe've only just met, I'm not here to tell you my wwhole fuckin' life story." He snapped, and I immediately recoiled a bit, and watched the ground.

"Sorry, I just... I just wanted you to have at least one good friend. It's just by the way you act you seem like you have no friends.. no one to talk too.."

I hear him sigh, and he tilts my chin up with his knuckle, "I'm sorry I snipped, Princess.." He pauses a bit. "You're right.. I don't havve many friends.. none in fact.. I mean, I knoww I havve you noww, but I don't think our friendship is good enough yet to share personal stuff.." He pinches my chin playfully and smiles, "Another time, perhaps, Princess."

I nod and smile shyly, "Okay.."

Eridan grins before turning for the door again. As his hand grabs the door handle, he faces me while opening the door, "Text me, alright?"

I press my lips together in a happy smile, "Alright."

"See ya."

"Bye.."

And with that, he was gone with a click of the door. Then why was I still giddy? My heart was pounding, my chest was tight, and my stomach was all fluttery and warm. He was a cute guy, let alone perfect in every way. But was I ready for a relationship, even if he asked or not, was I? The last time I did, it didn't go so well, because eventually my ex got tired of me postponing sex. He said that I just too afraid. And yeah, I was. I mean, losing your virginity is a big deal, and I wanted to make sure I was serious about the relationship before diving right in and cashing in my V-card. I wasn't about to just spread my legs for any guy that calls me cute. For now, Eridan is a friend, and that's that. Besides, I wouldn't want to make the relationship weird with asking if he wanted to date. Even if he did, it would still feel a bit awkward.

Enough of wandering in thought. I need a shower. I sigh and turn for the hall leading back to my room and the bathroom. Immediately I turn for the bathroom and switch on the light, and face myself in the mirror. I actually didn't look that bad, maybe just a little tired. My makeup wasn't as much as smudged. Damn, Kanaya really knows what kind to buy. Besides my makeup looking phenomenal, my hair looked like shit. It was all frizzy and poofing out every which way. I sigh and brush a few of the white strands from my face. Jesus, now I can see why Eridan didn't want people having the wrong idea, I looked like I just took the walk of shame. I shake my head and feel around my back to loosen up my dress to slip off later, then I step over to the shower stall and turn it on. Hot water hissed to life with steam, and it already made my body ache with the pleasure of relaxation. So I stripped as quick and carefully as I could and stepped in. The water hit me immediately and I grunted with pleasure. The warmth untangled coiled up muscles and stress in my shoulders as I let my body soak. This might be the best shower in my life. Nothing could feel as great as this. I lathered up my body, scrubbed it down, rinsed, and then washed off my face as best as I could. I wiped my face with the washcloth until nothing was left on the fabric. I wash my hair last, scrubbing it and lathering it with conditioner before rinsing it all out and turning off the shower. I exit a shower well taken, then suddenly my relaxation is gone as soon as I get hit with the wall of arctic air once that shower door opened. I'll have to warm up later to keep up my feel good shpeel. A plush towel is wrapped around my body, and another dries my hair as I step back into my room to dress. I pull on underwear, sports bra, and long baggy plaid pajama pants and a black tank top. I already started feeling better.

Once everything was cleaned up and quiet. I nearly groan out loud upon realizing I had work at the hospital. It's not that I wasn't looking forward to go. I love work. It's just that it was 5:44 in the fucking morning and I have work in /two hours/, and I have to get up an hour earlier just to get ready! You know what. Fuck it. I'm calling in sick. I find myself stalking off to the kitchen to detach my phone from it's charger. I hit the speed dial for Rosa, the nurse practitioner, also the mother of my good friend Kanaya. She was always up at five, that's when her shift started. She picked up on the first ring, like always.

"Yes?"

"Oh, yeah, hey Rosa, I'm feeling really sick today," suddenly my voice fell low and hoarse, and I was no longer a healthy person, "I don't think I can come in for work," I cough for emphasis.

"Don't be going and fussing up about being 'sick', darling. I know you won't be coming in. Kanaya told me all what you were doing tonight with your girlfriends. And I don't blame you for staying home. Just don't let it become a habit."

An immediate smile split my face, I love her, "Yes ma'am."

"Now you go on and get to sleep. You'll be needing it."

"Of course," I chuckle, and we hung up with quiet goodbyes.

Kanaya told her? Not only was I a bit surprised, but I was tickled to death. She saved me from work. I lean against the counter and sigh in relief. No work. That's good. I yawn and glance around. What could I do tomorrow? I could sleep in, or clean this place up, go shopping...

My gaze drifted to the delicately written numbers on my dry erase board. My smile widens. Or I could go to Starbucks and bug Eridan. That sounds like a great plan. I punch in his number and send him a text,  _Hey, u still up?_

I flick off the lights in my apartment, and carry my phone back to my bedroom with me. Where there I curl up in bed with my covers to my chin, and hold the phone close to my chest as I waited for anything back. Suddenly the phone vibrated in two quick shudders and it lit up. I open the phone and read,

_not for long, princess. wwhy? somethin wwrong_?

God. This guy was even stuck up enough to type his stutter into text. It made me giggle as I responded, _Off work tomorrow. Wondering maybe if I could pop in on u at work?_

Eridan must have been completely alert by then, because about a minute after I sent that text, he threw one right back at me.

_my shift starts at elevven and ends at four if ya wwanna come sea me._

Jesus his puns were adorable. I type in quickly, _Sounds good. I'll get going as soon as I wake._

As soon as I wake? I felt like that sounded a bit desperate.

My phone lights up, _as soon as ya wwake huh? am i like your first priority?_

_I just really want to see u tomorrow since I have nothing on my schedule. We could go do stuff instead of just txting all day._

Oh yeah, he so thought I was being desperate.

_that sounds lovvely, princess. ill be lookin forwward to it._

My chest flips every time he calls me Princess. Texting or talking. It's weird..

_Groovy. I'll take to u later. Night._

I wait a bit more before setting my phone down. But it lights up and dances as soon and I set it down.

_groovvy? heheh. i like it. swweet dreams, princess._

I set down my phone this time a roll over, burrowing my smile deep into my blankets and pillows. I was glad to be his friend, his best friend, in fact probably his only friend. It made me feel really good of myself knowing that he's got someone now. I close my eyes and drift off into a dark and dreamless sleep, with thoughts nagging at my brain at what could possibly happen next.


	5. First Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go out on the town with Eridan, which puts you two in a.. situation afterwards.

Light cracked through the blinds, reaching out weakly with its slender fingers to graze my eyes with a warm wakening. My eyes flutter open to a yellow lit room. The digital clock on my bedside table flash neon green numbers. 11:33. About six hours of sleep, not too bad. I at least felt rested, and so much better. A yawn pushed passed my lips, my body squirming in the bed as I stretched. Thank god I didn't have work. Because today just feels perfect. I slide out of bed and shuffle my way to the bathroom to piss and brush my teeth. I wonder what we were going to do today? I mean, I know we both planned hanging out after his shift, but we didn't specify what.

A date maybe?

No, no. No. No. No it absolutely will not be.

I shake my head free of the thoughts as I trudge back to my room for clothing. Before I dress I really should check the weather today. Yesterday was comfortably warm, today should be too. I tap my phone to life, then drag down the side tab for weather updates. 77 degrees with 20% humidity. Not too bad. Enough for shorts. I set my phone down and rummage through drawers, pulling out black short shorts, a maroon halter top, and a ruffly, sleeveless cardigan jacket made out of a thin grey material. I pull on my outfit for the day, but before it all exchanging my sports bra for a strapless one.

My stomach grumbled with a need for food and I frowned. I'll grab something to eat when I get there. I find myself stepping back to the bathroom to brush my hair and put on some makeup. I run the brush through my thick, white locks until all the tangles and snags were gone, leaving my hair wavy, shiny, and frizzy with static. Ugh. I get a little bit of mousse, but not enough to make my hair look wet, and then stay crusty. I just work through it enough to keep the frizziness down, but still keep the volume and my natural wind blown look. Kanaya showed me all kinds of cool things I could do with my hair, like it needed it though. Kanaya envies my hair, telling me how it looks so perfect everyday, how it seems like I only just came from a hair dresser. But nope. This is just my hair.

Once my hair was done, I moved on to my makeup. I never really wear a lot of makeup. So I just do the usual. A layer of eyeliner along the top and bottom rims of my eyes, a little mascara, and a soft brush of pink lip gloss for emphasis. It wasn't much, but it got the job done. Just for kicks I spritz on a bit of citrusy body spray; orange and pomegranate dancing along my skin. With a quick glance at myself through the mirror and a nod of confirmation, I leave the bathroom with a flick of the lights to go grab my shoes, and everything else I need for today. I stop in my tracks in the hall.

Wait.

Did I just gussy myself up? Did I just do all of that to impress Eridan? No!

Well maybe, but, that's not the point!

This is  _not_ a date. Right? Right.  _Not_  a date.

I resume my footing and head back to my room, making quick work of slipping on some mismatched anklet socks and black vans. I grab my phone, and stick it in my back pocket, and slip my small, square wallet in the opposite pocket. It wasn't very lady like, I know, but I never liked purses. You're more capable of having someone snatch your bag than someone feeling around in your jean pocket for a wallet. 

I make a quick pat down of everything as I grab my apartment keys from my purse from last night, then I head for the door, locked it, and shut it behind me as I stepped out. For some reason I half expected Eridan to be waiting at the foot of the stairs for me, dangling his cars keys from a finger with a stupid smile, saying he quit work so we could hang out. But he wasn't. Just another one of my delusional fantasies. 

I tromp down the stairs and step out onto the sidewalk, hailing a cab once I found one. I tell to driver to take me to the Star Bucks by the hospital as I sit back in the leather seating. The car smelled of B.O, sweat, and cigarette smoke, making a flash back from last night flit across my memory. As the car moved, I watched everything go by in a blur. People, cars, buildings, trees, everything moving by in a blurry image. Like somebody had dragged their hand across a freshly painted piece of canvas, smearing delicate work together in an array of combined colors. 

The cab stops at the cafe, and I can see a familiar Pontiac in the parking lot, I smile in return. I pay the guy my fee and exit the car, then make my way to the doors of the cafe. As soon as I push past them, I'm hit with the wave of smells through my senses. Of course Star Bucks is going to smell like coffees and sweets, but it enveloped me into a warm homey feel. And made my stomach growl even more with hunger. I look around for a familiar face, and I find it in the corner, looking down as his hands worked with wiping a table down. I couldn't help but let my eyes travel over him as he leaned over, taking in how his white T-shirt hung off his body, watching how the muscles and bones moved in his arms as he used them.

 

Holy shit I need help. I need serious help.

 

By the time I was done drooling, Eridan looks up with a charming smile, and steps over while casually slinging his towel over his shoulder.

"Hey, Princess."

An immediate smile broke my face. There were those butterflies again at that name.

"Hey."

He jerks his thumb over his right shoulder to the woman barista behind the counter. She looked pretty official, with a black blinking headset on that matched the color of her nice shirt. It took me until then to realize she had a name plate reading 'Manager'. Eridan mutters, "I talked wwith my boss to try an let me out early. As long as I found someone to take the rest a my shift she said I could."

I blinked, "So did you find someone?"

He grins, "I get off at twwelvve. That's in about fivve minutes. Havve you eaten yet?"

"N-No, I haven't," I mumble, holding my stomach as the thought of food made it ache.

"Go out an wwait by the car, wwe can go some wwhere, savvy?" He asks reassuringly with a calm smile, an eyebrow raising in wait for my confirmation.

"Sure thing," I smile, and turn for the door. Before I can take a step, Eridan grabs me by the wrist.

"Hey, can I get you anythin' wwhile wwe're here?"

I shrug and smile, my skin warming at the touch, "Maybe something to drink. Surprise me."

With another charming smile that could kill, he releases me while heading to the back. I turn quickly, feeling a soft blush sprout as I concentrated on my feet taking me out to the parking lot and to the familiar blue Pontiac. I lean against the passenger door, letting the sun soak my back and a slight breeze ruffle my hair. The sharp click of the door unlocking makes me jump, and a chuckle sounds from behind me on the other side of the car.

"Y'knoww, by the wway you wwere standin' there you almost looked like an angel."

I huff, "Please don't tell me that's my new nickname." My head turns and I face him, leaning my arms on the roof of the car.

He laughs, "Heavvens no. You'll alwways be a princess, Princess." With a smirk and a wink, he ducks down and climbs into his car. I roll my eyes, trying to fight back the smile spreading across my face as I mimic him by climbing in the passenger seat. Eridan reaches his hand over with a clear plastic cup in his hand, holding a transparent orange liquid and a green straw, "Here."

"What's this?" I ask, taking the cup with one hand and shutting the door with the other, then buckled my seat belt.

"It's an vvalencia orange refresher. They're fuckin' amazin'. You said you hadn't eaten anythin' yet, plus that shit is pumped full a so much caffeine you might wwant to wwait and eat somethin' before drinkin' that..." His voice trails off as he stares at the contents. I laugh.

"I'll be fine." I take a sip. The flavor was citrusy, and bold, it made my tongue sting with the tanginess and caffeine. Damn. This shit _was_ amazing.

Eridan starts the car and looks over at me as we start to pull out, "So wwhere wwould you like to go eat? Anythin' at all, your choice."

"Hm," I hum while taking another sip, "That new sushi place doesn't sound too bad."

Eridan grimaces as he checks left and right before pulling out onto the road, turning left, "I hate sushi."

"How do you  _hate_ sushi?" I gasp at him, "Sushi is amazing-" _  
_

"Sushi feels like you're chewwin' on a cold tongue."

"Ugh, fine. No sushi," I sigh and tap the straw to my lip as we pull up to a stoplight, "Thai?"

"Wwhat is it wwith oriental food?"

"It's heaven on a plate is what it is. Why don't you like it?"

Eridan shrugs, "I don't know. Maybe because my last encounter wwith oriental food had me spewwin' for a wweek." He grimaces over at me.

I sigh and shake my head, "Which restaurant was that, even?"

"The fuckin' China WWok on Main."

" _That's_ where you went wrong! That place is practically screaming horrible grades on its health report," I pause, "Look, I know this really, really great Japanese place across town. It's not all just sushi I promise. They've got some great shit there. Please? Just try it?" I begged softly.

Eridan sighs and looks over at me with a shake of his head as the car pulls into motion, "Howw could anyone evver say no to a beg like that."

I grin and bite my straw with a nod. After a bit of silence I pipe up, "So what do you plan on us doing today?"

"Wwhat wwould you like to do?"

I don't like how he's asking for what I want to do. It makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of him, or being picky.

"Hey, I chose the food. You choose the fun."

Eridan purses his lips as the car makes a right, "Hmm. Do you like advventure?"

I nod and hum in response.

"Outdoors?"

Another hum.

"Animals?"

"Why Eridan, are you asking if I would like to go to a zoo?"

"It's got an aquarium too, y'knoww."

I laugh, "I would love that."

He chuckles, "I kneww you wwould. Noww, wwhere's this restaurant?"

****

~~~~"The hell is this shit?"

Eridan asks, furrowing his eyebrows and looking down at the small bowl in front of him. The soup was steamy, the heat rising up in little wisps up to Eridan's face. I laugh at him.

"It's called Miso soup. It's really good!"

"Okay, if wwhat's in it isn't in the name, I'm not eatin' it." He looked up across the small square table at me and blinked.

The restaurant was small, with only about twenty tables, but it had the best food and the best service, and also the best interior. As soon as you step into the front doors, you're greeted with a chime, and the view of a giant, surprisingly not faux, flower tree in the middle of the room that is placed delicately in wide koi filled pond. In the tree were colorful lights that looked like little fruits you could pick right off. It was known as the town's Eden restaurant with the whole nature decoration they had going on here. The floor was simply of bamboo, and the walls a deep forest green to match the padding and tablecloths of the bamboo chairs and tables. It was pretty cute, and decently priced. Eridan and I were seated just behind the tree. 

I laugh at him, "Since when is that a reason? Are you saying you won't eat a Big Mac because its ingredients aren't in the name?"

"I'm not eatin' a Big Mac anywway. McDonalds is disgustin'."

"But  _that_ isn't! So eat!" I wave my spoon at him before taking another spoonful of my soup.

"Wwill ya at least tell me wwhat's floatin' around in there?"

I sigh and suck on my spoon a bit before answering his question, "It's basically a bean soup, but in liquid form, with chives, seaweed, and tofu bites."

Eridan blinks at me. I just laugh.

"You said this wwould be a good eat."

"It is a good eat! You're just being a diva about it!" I exclaimed.

"Don't you knoww me? I am a divva," He smirks, "Alright, alright. I'll try it."

"Good." I nod, and watch him as he takes a bite. After a bit he stays silent, and looks up at me, "Well?"

"It's actually pretty fuckin' good."

"See? Wwhat did I tell you?" I smile as he chuckles at me, "Cold, slimy tongue sounding any better?"

" _Fuck no._ "

****

After our bite and the Bean Soup Eden, as what Eridan now calls it, we head out on the road to the interstate, and head up to the zoo and aquarium in the big city. It was about a two hour drive with traffic, but we kept ourselves occupied by singing to musical numbers, especially  _Time Warp_ from _Rocky Horror Picture Show_. When we finally got to the parking lot, it took us forever to find a parking spot. Everybody and their brother decided to come to the zoo today. So the whole place was going to be packed. When we FINALLY found a spot, we immediately hurried up to the registration and bought ourselves in. _  
_

The whole day there was great, we started out first by feeding giraffes, something I'm sure Eridan will never do again in his life. But I made sure to video tape the incident of the beast wrapping it's long, purple tongue around his wrist in a death grip and suck, and made sure to emphasis my schoolgirl-like giggling while Eridan writhed away from the doe-eyed creature. His hand came back all slick with drool and he just gagged. That video is SO going on YouTube.

After the hand-sucking giraffe, Eridan and I wandered all around the place. From taking pictures of lazily posing meerkats, to feeding colorful, and whimsical lorikeets sweet nectar from little cups. One of those lorikeets hung from my shiny loop earring, and gnawed on Eridan's glasses. We enjoyed the birds so much we went back twice to feed them again. We walked around, checked out little gift shops, and went back to inspecting other exotic creatures. Eridan even video tapped and little lion cub chasing me back and forth as I walked in front of the glass. I wasn't sure if he was playing or if he wanted to eat me.

Once we traveled the whole zoo, we made a beeline for the aquarium, something we both were looking forward too. We started out with the freshwater fish, watching all sorts of creatures squirm about in their glass homes. We watched turtles gloat about and shy away from us, piranhas dart away and grin their creepy teeth at us, and all sorts of carps and trouts dance around in one giant aquarium tank. As always the ocean exhibits are always bigger and much, much more cooler. Once we got to the neon colored _Finding Nemo_ characters we immediately were little kids again. We were all smiles and laughs as we watched those little suckers dart about in their homes, but then we were quiet and shy as we reached the shark tanks. Not that sharks are scary, honestly they're beautiful creatures, just misunderstood. Although there is one shark in the tank that freaks me out. Every time it floated by, I shied away. Just as now, except this time I was looking off somewhere else, but by the time I noticed that ugly ass Goblin shark floating right by me, Eridan grabs my sides with a, "Ah!"

Immediately I shriek in fear, and everyone around us at the moment laughs. I huff and shove him in the chest, "Ass!"

"Aye, aye. Little kids are here," he smirked.

I roll my eyes and crack a small smile, pushing past him and grabbing him by his sleeve, "C'mon, I wanna go see some whales."

Eridan groans and trails behind me like a little kid as I drag him on, "But I hate wwhales!"

"How can you hate whales?" I ask, leading him farther down until we reached the huge, glass monstrosity that was the whale tank. Although by whales, it was just a whale shark and a few orcas. Not your regular humpback whale. Which made me kind of sad. But all in all I still grinned as I watched the big galoots derp around in there.

"Because, they just do nothin' but eat krill, take up space, and litter beaches. They're literally fuckin' pointless." He remarked. And he had a point. They were pretty pointless, but they were still cool, gentle giants.

"Aw, come on. They're still pretty cool." I add, still smiling up at the glass. There were no words after that, so I add again, "Right?" Still nothing. I turn around and he's not there.

Wait what?

I look around past people, looking for a familiar face, "Eridan?"

"Come here! These things are fuckin' adorable!" His voice calls out.

I follow his voice around the corner, and I find Eridan standing in front of a small little tank. In the tank was a whole little reef civilization, speckled with tiny seahorses floating around.

Eridan smiles at me as I step up, "Oh my god. Seahorses. Really?"

Eridan grins, "You cannot tell me that these things are not adorable."

Actually they were, but I didn't want to be the fangirl squealing over them. Because honestly I was going to leave that bit for Eridan to handle. Bit when my eyes landed on BABY seahorses, I squealed my heart out.

"Oh my god! Loooook! It's so tiny! It's so cuuuute!" I squirm, and point to the glass. The babies where barely transparent, and were only a few millimeters long in length. Eridan just chuckles and reads the information board above the tank.

"Says here that once a male and female breed together, they're mated for life. They'll stay wwith each other until they die." 

"Aaawwww." I coo, standing up straight and looking at him as he read, "That is pretty cute."

"Yeah," he smiles, and meets my gaze. For a second, his eyes glittered, and he made a move like he was going to say something. Instead, his smile fades a bit, along with the glitter in his eyes, "Wwe should probably call this a day. Wwe'vve been runnin' a lot."

My smile fades as well and I nod as I look back to the tank, "Yeah.. I guess so.."

It was quiet for a bit, and I definitely felt something there. Something that was nagging me. Telling me to make a contact of some kind. I look down and shyly take his hand in mine, which makes him flick his gaze towards mine. Our fingers link and I give him a gentle tug and a small smile, "C'mon..."

Eridan smiles softly in return, and we walk together hand in hand until we reached his car, where there he opens the car door for me and helps me in, and being a complete gentleman, shuts the door for me. Once he gets seated, he starts the car and pulls out, then we start our trip back home.

There was no music. No talking. Just the pitter patter of heavy raindrops that had manifested on the ride home. Something definitely happened, and now it was making things awkward. 

I kept my eyes to the side, watching the road lines shift and drag on endlessly as we made our way closer. Finally after we were driving through a city that seemed all too familiar to us, Eridan pipes up,

"It's pretty late, do you wwant to go and get some dinner or take you ho-"

"Take me home." I push.

There was a long pause, then a click of a turn signal as we pull onto my road, "...Okay.."

Tears pricked my eyes. I'm not sure what has happened. But I don't like it. I care for him, so much, I want to be his best friend, but then there's this little part of me that wants to be so more than that. And it's becoming so strong by the minute that it's starting to hurt. It's just so confusing.

He pulls up to my apartment complex, and put the car in park. His voice was quiet, "You're home.."

Tears finally break like a dam, and I sit there, still staring out the window, with the droplets trailing down my chin similar to the ones on the window. Eridan mutters my name softly, and I look to him. His face draws in with concern.

"Wwhats wwrong?"

I shake my head and wipe my eyes. I want to tell him. I need to. He needs to know that this can't happen. I know he feels it. I can tell by how he treats me, and how his reaction was to that moment at the aquarium. He needs to know that even though I want something so more than a friendship, I'm not ready for something like that again. He needs to know that he is just so perfect for me, and that I need time. But no. Instead of saying something I unbuckle my seat belt and leave the car as quick as I can. I hurry out, digging my keys from my apartment as raindrops deck me in the face, chest, shoulders, everywhere. 

I walk as quickly as I can, but it seems like I'm in one of those dreams where no matter how fast you run to the door, it always stretches farther away.

I hear a car door shut and footsteps run up behind me. And suddenly there are hands on my waist, turning me around, and lips over mine.

My face is as red as a cherry, and I need to push him away, but my body gives in anyway. My fingers still stay braced on his arms, holding on tight as my lips part with a sigh. Eridan suckles water from my bottom lip gently, then pressing his mouth over mine in a perfect mold to let our tongues dance with each others.

I can't let this happen. I need to say something. 

I pull away slowly, and let go of him, grabbing his hands and lifting them off of my waist. I meet his eyes shyly, which were deep and confused.

"Come inside.. we need to talk.."

"Wwhat is there evven to talk about?" he mutters, tilting his head down and meeting my eyes thoroughly.

"Everything," I sigh, turning and running out of the rain to the stairs. Once I get the door open I immediately hurry inside, throwing my keys on the counter and kicking off my shoes. Eridan steps in quietly behind me and shuts the door with a soft click. "God I'm soaked.." I mutter, wringing my hair out in the sink and looking over at Eridan, "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go change.. Just chill in here for now I guess."

He nods as I make my way down the hall to my room, shutting the door behind me a quickly peeling my soaked clothes off my damp body. As I dressed, I thought at how I would come across this situation. There really is no other way to tell him, I'm just trying to find the way that won't hurt him. Like that's going to be an option. Shivers tremored over my skin once I pull on an loose, warm sweater, and some baggy sweatpants. I make sure to grab a towel from the bathroom before heading to the living room, finding Eridan sitting on the couch and staring out the window to the dark thunderstorm taking place. He looks up once I clear my throat for entrance, and toss him the towel for his soaked hair. He snatches it out of the air without a word, taking off his glasses before wiping off his face and scrubbing the water out of his hair. I shyly step over, plopping down next to him and pulling my legs up under me.

"So," Eridan starts, pulling the towel from his hair, leaving the dark mass tufted out and shaggy before raking his fingers through it, "You said you wwanted to talk? I'm all ears." He sighs, turning to face me while slipping his glasses back up his nose.

"Look," I started, turning my body to watch him and give him my full attention, and soon it was quiet. My lips parted with words unable to sound, because I actually had no idea how to start out. Eridan simply sat there and stared at me as he waited for me to start, "I... You... this can't happen, beca-"

"Because you're tired of leadin' me on like some kind of bloody showw pony?" He asked, rather bitterly.

"N-No! It's not what you think! It's-"

"It's someone else? Someone wwith money? Looks? Better than me of course, right?"

"Will you just shut the fuck up and let me talk?" I shriek at him. Eridan nods, sitting back and crossing a leg over his lap as he made a gesture with his hand for me to continue. I watch him intently, opening my mouth to speak again, "I can't do this again.." my voice sounding more of a whimper than anything else. Eridan looked wounded, his face softening like he had just witnessed a baby bird trying to fly with a broken wing.

"Wwhat do you mean 'again'?" He asks softly, sitting up this time and listening intently.

My eyes burn so I look down, folding my hands in my lap and picking at the loose threads at the ends of my sleeves, "The last relationship I had, it.. it didn't go so well. It started out great, it really did.. we were together for about.. five months maybe? I don't know.. All I know is that he was starting to get impatient with me, because I kept stalling.. postponing sex. He kept pushing and pushing me to the brink where he knew he had control, and he knew I was weaker than him. So he used that to his advantage and... he raped me," I whisper, barely even audible as the pitch of my voice lowered so low, and tremors shook me, "I can't have a relationship again so soon.. we had only broken up a few months ago.. And I want this so bad, I really do, but I'm just afraid.. When your brother hit me it just.. brought back so many awful memories, but when you came along it was like a breath of fresh air.. it gave me hope that maybe I could get back on the horse again and try dating someone, like you, but.. the moment at the zoo just sort of... showed me that I'm not ready.. I'm still terrified.." I look up slowly to Eridan after a bit of silence, whose eyes were sad, and lips parted in slight horror.

"Oh.. god, I'm.. I'm so sorry, I thought.... I'm sorry.." Eridan muttered, leaning over and pulling me into a warm hug. I couldn't help but lean back into it. His arms around my shoulders and waist and his fingers in my hair were just too warm and comforting. I hug back stiffly, arms tightening around him as more tears started to fall over my cheeks, and soaked into the already dampened fabric of his shirt, "Does anyone else in your life knoww? Your mum? Dad? Friends?"

I shake my head, pulling away with a sniff and picking at my sleeves again. Eridan wipes the streams of tears from my cheeks, "I feel a bit like an ass noww knowwin' that I'm the only one that you'vve told. Considerin' I'vve basically pushed you to it.."

"You didn't know.. it's not your fault," I say weakly, hiccuping a quiet sob and looking up at him.

Eridan sighs sadly, "And don't you wworry about all this relationship shit, alright? Your wwound is still fresh, and I'm not gonna put salt on it so soon wwith pressurin' you, okay? You just take your time," He pauses a bit, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear and smiling sadly, "Hell, like you'd evven date a pathetic fuck like me."

"Pathetic? No..." I say softly, "Not pathetic.."

"Loser, asshole, annoyin', fuck-up. Yeah," He adds.

"You're none of those things.."

"I'm all of those things."

"Don't you think that if you were in fact all of those things I wouldn't have called you my friend, hung out with you, kissed you?"

He shrugs, "I thought maybe you wwere just bein' polite."

I huff and slug him gently in the shoulder, "Why do you think all of that about yourself?"

Eridan shrugs, turning to face me fully now, "It wwas just howw I wwas raised.."

"Raised you hate yourself?" I ask, nose turning up in confusion. I realize by his expression change, he was being sincere, and my own face drops to something more sympathetic, "What happened Eridan?" I told him my biggest secret, he should at least understand that he owes me something of his own, and that we can trust each other.

Eridan sighs, looking off to the side silently before piping up, "Wwell, obvviously I wwasn't the favvorite child. Dad hated my guts the minute I wwas born. He only appreciated Cronus because he wwas actually a planned child. But suddenly wwhen he makes the poor decision of a hooker, tequila and a sketchy condom from Sevven Elevven, it givves him full permission to hate my guts," he pauses a bit, sighing deeply before continuing, "He basically raised me to hate myself, alwways told me I wwas a wworthless piece of shit that had no point in life. Had no outcome. Wwhen I wwas in highschool wwas wwhen shit got wworse. Since he had already raised me to be insecure and awwkwward, I fucked up the only relationship I had a pretty good chance with. Then came the big blowws. People, along wwith my father, got evven more vverbal. Evven more harsh. I.. let that shit get really deep into my head... and soon I uh.. found myself turnin' to locked doors and.. blades.. and suicide for a long time then.. But that wwas a feww years ago. It's nothin' to wworry about noww. And honestly it's not somethin' I'm proud of."

I sat there, tears stinging my eyes enough to make me sniff again. Eridan meets my eyes as I mutter weakly, "You hurt yourself..?"

He nodded slightly, "Y-Yeah, I had myself checked into the hospital to help get myself better.. I'm okay noww.. I promise,"

I shake my head and sniff again, averting my eyes down to my lap, "I-I know that, I just, I can't believe someone like you.. would hate yourself enough to.. to cut yourself.. or think about suicide even.." This time tears leaked over again in streams once my eyes met his again. Immediately I flung my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and crying softly, "Don't you ever think that you're pathetic, or a fuck-up. Because you aren't. No one is. Because no one is perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. Because we're all different. What makes you, is you, and what makes you is a one of a kind thing."

Eridan grunted a bit in response of my sudden action of hugging him, but nonetheless hugged back. I could hear the soft smile in his voice, "There is such thing as perfect. There's you."

I huff a laugh dryly, pulling away and wiping my face, "I am not perfect."

"You are to me.." He says softly, smiling slightly and watching me. I could feel blush spread back to my ears as his deep blue gaze bored straight into mine. His smile fell a bit, turning to look at his phone on the coffee table, "Wwell, it's pretty late, I should get goin'."

"Are.. are you crazy? It's pouring out there. You already had enough trouble driving home today. You're staying here," I insisted.

Eridan laughed, "Princess, I livve like fivve blocks dowwn the road. I'm pretty sure I'll be okay." As if on cue, thunder clapped loudly enough to make the dishware and utensils in the kitchen rattle and my heart jump in my chest, then afterwards a flash of lighting. 

After that bit I push again, "You're staying here."

Eridan shakes his head with a slight chuckle, "You're ridiculous."

"I know that. But you're still staying here."

Eridan watches me for a long while before sighing and nodding, "Alright, alright."

I nod, "Good." With a huff I rise, turning to the hall to get Eridan a pillow and a blanket or two. But I soon find myself stopping in the hall and twirling on my heel to face him. Was I seriously going to make him sleep on the couch? I mean, like hell he was going to sleep in the same bed with me. But the thought of the whole scenario made my gut warm and my heart flutter at the thought. It actually sent a comforting chill over my skin at the feeling of being curled up next to someone, that safe warmth like his hugs. It didn't sound to bad, and actually sounded like something I needed at the moment. Also I'm terrified of storms, and having someone with me would be a big help. So I pad in quietly, "Hey, so.. I'm... absolutely terrified of storms... I was wondering if you could just... chill with me until I go to sleep. I mean, you don't have to stay in there, or have to come back here at all, I was just.. wondering.." I jerk my thumb over my shoulder awkwardly, tapping my toes on the ground as blush sprouted deeper. Without waiting for an answer, I turn quickly and head back to my room, my face flaming after asking such an awkward favor.

I turn off my bedroom light, and feel my way to my bed, which was sending out reassuring sleep rays in my direction. Once I felt a fold of fabric, I curl up on the mattress, pulling the blankets up to my chin and facing the wall. Thunder rumbles again, making me jump and burrow deeper into the covers. After the thunder was silence, aside from the violent gusts of wind slamming rain against the window, but I could still make out the sound of a door opening and closing, then the soft footsteps coming closer to my bed. My bed shifted with weight, making me turn to see Eridan's silhouette in front of the dull glow of the digital clock slip down next to me with a sigh. Without any other word, I roll over and lay close to him, not even bothering to fuss at the arm curling around me. His embrace was warm, and I nuzzled gratefully into it, the action seeming to muffle away the claps and stomps of the thunder outside. Finally after quiet breathing and pondering, I murmur softly, "Thank you.."

"For wwhat?" Eridan chuckles softly.

"For... everything.." I say sincerely, tilting my head up to look at him, or at least look in the general direction in the dark.

Eridan laughs softly again, the sound reminding me of the woosh of the ocean, and rumbling in his chest, "You're wwelcome, Princess," and he places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

A blush dusts my cheeks again, and deepens even more once I lean up and blindly catch his mouth with mine. I kiss him gently, Eridan a bit hesitant and slow with catching on. I know why though, he's afraid he'll be going too fast, or he'll do something to scare me. But I know he knows better than that. He knows when he's gone too far. I trust him... and to show him so I parted my lips to let him know I did. Eridan took the note, and turned his body more as he leaned into the kiss, the hand at my waist now moving up to cup my cheek. 

For what seemed like the rest of the night, we simply held each other's hands as well as each other, sharing soft kisses and nothing more. I knew what we had was weird. We weren't a couple. But we were friends. We were just... friends that kissed. Yeah. Exactly that. And not once did I regret that decision as we fell asleep in each other's arms and kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not being very active! I've just been caught up in so much stuff lately.


	6. Dirty Little Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today you have a little get together with some friends, learn some jaw dropping news about one of you're best friends, and get called in at the hospital.

The other side of the bed was empty and cold when I roused, my arm reaching out with a quiet groan and stretch. I glance over at my clock, green numbers reading 9:37 as I sat up. Eridan either left in the middle of the night, or got up early and left then. Either way determining how cold the bed was, he must have been gone for a long time. So I stood up with another groan and stretch, bones popping and feet shuffling towards the bedroom door. The apartment was quiet, really quiet, making my gut sink at the thought of being alone. I don't really mind if he had to leave, he probably had something important to do, like work or something.

I trudge into the bathroom, relieving myself and brushing my teeth, then making my way to the couch to collapse and turn on the TV. I lay there rather ungracefully, flipping absentmindedly through channels, my face blank and tired. There really wasn't anything on, everything that was on was either news, cartoons, or church stuff. So with a tired sigh and flip over to Spongebob. No one ever gets tired of Spongebob. Plus it's pretty funny when you're actually old enough to catch the dirty jokes and hints of Illuminati. After about a half an hour of Spongebob, I really started to get into it. So much that I didn't even hear my apartment door open and Eridan step in. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he announced himself with a clear of his throat. I whip my head around, eyes wide and a slight embarrassed blush dusting my cheeks.

"Scared the fucking shit out of me," I mutter, taking a deep breath to calm my heart down. Immediately my nose catches a wiff of a far too familiar smell, I reach out to him with child-like grabby hands, "I don't care what you got me, just gimme the Starbucks," I press, hands hugging the warm coffee to my cheek when he handed it to me.

"I thought you'd might like some wwhile I wwas out," he claims, sitting down next to me gently, then raising a brow at me with a stupid smirk, "Spongebob? Really?"

"Hey, fuck you," I plainly say, taking a sip of my coffee. French vanilla cappuccino. It would have been so much better if it didn't singe my tongue. Eridan laughs quietly at my remark, I continue on, "Where did you go, anyway?"

"Called in at the library, didn't feel like wworkin' today. I decided to stop by and grab you somethin'." He answers, eyes somewhat seemingly glued to the TV. Although he didn't seem interested, most likely just staring off as he usually did when he spoke.

A small smile warm my lips. Out of spite of his sweet gesture to get me coffee, I sat it down, then leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, "Thank you.."

Eridan smirked the slightest and rolled his eyes, "It's just coffee."

"Yeah but the fact that you actually thought to get me some and drive all the way back to give it to me rather than go home is sweet. No one ever takes the time to care for me anymore. So I make a big deal of it." 

"I get coffee for evverybody, it's not like I-"

"Will you just shut the fuck up and take the appreciation?" I ask, leaning over and placing my lips over his.

A small sound of surprise sounds in the back of his throat, but nonetheless he gives in, cupping the back of my head to deepen the kiss. Our tongues collide briefly before he swipes his tongue over my lower lip and pulls away, "If you say you just wwant to stay friends you need to stop kissin' me so much."

I breath out quietly and lean back, "Right, right. Okay. No more kissing. I promise." I say, sweeping a hand out for emphasis.

"You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise not to kiss you until I'm ready for a relationship."

He laughs, "Ah. I see," a short pause, "so wwhat wwill you be doin' today?"

I shrug, "I kinda want to have friends over and just hang out," I gasp, "Eridan you need to meet my friends. They'll love you."

"Seriously?"

" Yes, seriously!" I slap him on the arm, "I'm inviting them over and you're meeting them."

He chuckles, "Wwhatevver, Princess."

With a roll of my eyes I hop up from the couch, taking my coffee with me back to my room to change. I really didn't feel like trying today, I didn't have work until late, so today was a lazy day. Red and black plaid joggers, and a Rev Dun hoodie to match. I grab my phone, calling Kanaya first, her phone went straight to voicemail. Shit she was working tonight. So I called Vriska, putting her on speaker while fixing my hair up into a bun. Someone on the other end picked up, and answered with a, "Yoooooooo."

"Hey girl, you free?"

"Kinda, I've got about an hour until work. I can hop by for a few minutes if you'd like."

"Sure, you can meet someone I met up with at the club."

"Ooooooooh? You guys bang?"

"No!"

"Snog?"

"...no?"

"Oh come on you guys didn't kiss?"

"Oh, yeah, we did. But it wasn't too serious. We're staying friends for now."

"Pft. Loser. I'll be over in a few to meet your new Boy Toy."

"He is not-!" 

She cut me off with a laugh and hung up. I huff and step out of the bathroom, coffee in one hand and phone in the other. Eridan meets my eyes when I sit down.

"Boy Toy?"

"O-Oh hush." I mumble, blushing and taking a hearty sip of my coffee.

Eridan just laughs.

 

***

 

It was about ten minutes later when Vriska arrived at the door. Eridan had gone to the bathroom when I went to get the door, opening it and greeting Vriska with a smile, "Hey skank."

"Hey bitch." She steps in with a smirk, oil black hair bouncing as she walked in her heels. She worked as a waitress at the casino, not for the cash or for the people. But for the gambling. Most of the time if you went to visit Vriska on her break, she'd be shooting dice with all the big boys. Girl has luck, I gotta admit.

Vriska looks around, her face falling and her brow raising when no one else was present, "where's you're friend?"

"He's in the bathroom."

"Uh-huh. Finishing something you started for him?"

"Vriska!!"

"I'm just playing, girly. Don't get your tasteless panties in a twist," she chuckles, perching herself on the barstool next to the island in my kitchen, long legs crossed, "So what's his name?" 

"Eridan," I answer, sitting on the arm of the couch.

"Hm, I know an Eridan."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.. he's an ass. I hate him." She states blandly, inspecting her nails.

The door to the bathroom opens and Eridan steps out, his footsteps halting abruptly with a squeak. His face went pale, eyes wide. Now that I mention it Vriska was the same way.

"Vris??" He choked.

"Eridan," she seethed, rising to her feet and huffing at me, "You got together with this lowlife??"

I hold up my hands in defense, "Whoawhoawhoa. You two _know_ each other?"

"Knoww each other? She's my fuckin' sister." 

"You dumba-!"

" _Sister_?!" I snap with buffaw. My jaw was to the floor. How were these two...? Fuck I need to sit for a second. 

"I'm not his sister by blood. I'm not even his sister."

"Yet."

"No not yet," she sighed angrily, crossing her arms and shooting human dirty look.

"What do you mean not yet?" I ask weakly, my gut was still churning in shock. Why had they kept this from me? Vriska is my best friend. And Eridan... I had told him so much..

"Her mother and my father are getting married soon." Eridan explained gently.

 Her mother..? Her mother was.., "You're mother is Marquise?!" I shriek, standing up with my fists clenched to my sides.

Vriska came over to me, placing a delicate hand on my shoulder, "Look I know we said no more secrets but trust me this is the last one. I can't just go around saying that I'm the daughter of a celebrity. I never wanted anyone to know. And I never wanted to hurt you or lose you. You're my best friend..." she said softly.

"You've been lying to me from the start Vriska. You said you told me everything." My eyes stung, I feel like I'm gonna be sick, "Just go. Go to work before you get in trouble."

"Look I said-"

"Just leave!"

Vriska parted her blue stained lips, then with a hiss and a, "Fine," she turns with a whip of her hair, and slam of the door.

I slip my body back down onto the couch. I felt so betrayed. I had shared everything with her, and I mean everything. She promised there would be no more lies, no more secrets.. Eridan came a sat down next to me, pulling me close and letting me lean into him. I wasn't too happy with him either. He did lie to me too, but, not as long as she did.. plus it wasn't his fault he didn't know I was friends with her. So being mad at him doesn't very well count. I sniff quietly and rub my eyes vigorously.

"You probably wwant to be left alone don't you..?"

I nod, then without a word, Eridan rises, grabs his phone, presses a kiss to my forehead, and leaves with a gentle shut of a door. I curl up on the couch, going back to the make believe world of Spongebob, where people were stupid and things were all hunky dorey no matter what. 

If only our world was the same way.

 

***

 

The next few hours went by in a haze. I fell asleep occasionally, jumped myself awake, and went back to watching kids TV shows. At around ten my beeper went off for my help with an emergency: attempt of suicide; OD and lacerations to the wrists. So without hesitation I threw on my scrubs and sneakers, and got a cab to the hospital in a rush, even tipping the guy twenty bucks to speed on the way there.

I burst in through the ER doors, a few people calling out for me to help Rosa with the suicide patient's arms. She was getting scrubbed now. I run my way toward pre-op, meeting up with Rosa and scrubbing side by side with her.

"It's about time you showed up, darling, I was starting to think you weren't going to arrive," she stated, her words now muffled with the mask being tied over her face by another nurse.

 My own words were muffled by the same, bleach smelling fabric, "I was having a hard time getting a cab."

"You need a vehicle, dear." She claimed, now fully dressed in operating scrubs as she pressed her back into the doors. With that she was gone into operation.

I sigh as I slip on my scrubs, keeping my hands up as the nurse behind me finishes up tying everything tight, "I need a lot of things," I mutter to myself sadly, pushing past the doors leading to the operating room, disappearing for the next few longs hours of blood and sweat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, considering my lack of internet, I've managed to update my stories one chapter at a time. Sorry this is so short ;_;


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